the taking of swansea and bristol…!

i know i got shit gramma and loadsa spelling mistakes so theres no need to tell me. i know. but im normally hung over or completely fucking knackered when i write these things… and i just wanna document whats been happnin not be the next fucking keats.

so, another weekend of sickness and im completely fucking spannered and feel like i wanna collapse in a heap and be left alone for a month or 3.

Friday we went to Monkey and got trolleyed as usual…
the sound was fuCKING pants. the soundman was cool guy and tried everything he could to help us… and gave us our longest ever soundsheck,must have been at least 20 minutes! moitoring was banging but outfront was a warbling boomy flange echo.
The punters loved it tho, more so coz i think they were completely dumfounded by the site of us.

we got the cash, got twatted on brandy and decided to head for home.

as we pulled off Phil ran over Jonnys projector!
funny as fuck.

day off saturday,
went to see Hellboy2… fuck me CLAAAASSSIC! go to cinema tonight- you wont be disappointed its a claassic.

got home, bron was on the blob- so i launched a bowl of muesli at her. i missed. but she decided to twat herself on the head with a jar if pickled onions anyway. a extra long cartoon lump protruded from her scalp. i shook with fright, as we lay on the bathroom floor, crying. Thinkin “Jeremy Kyle : Here we fucking come”

sunday , got the band together and headed off to brizzolfest, waded thru the 10 years too -late, we-wanna-be- the -next-portishead-or-roni-size but-cant-express-ourselves-coz-we-too-busy-trying -to-be sum-one-else Sounds of the whole festival and arrived backstage at The Pub.

Simon who booked us for Glasto was there with a big beaming red and very welcoming round face.
He promptly paid us upfront and threw a case of Redstripe at us. SAAAFE!

we hit the stage and WOAH! what a fucking Sound… the girl on the sounddesk knew her shit and Whacked th monitors up loud… and pumped the Laptop out like no fuckers business out front.

from 8 to 20 to 100 to 500+ people inside the first track.

we kept them fucking bouncing for 1 hour, 2 encores and backstage secured several more bookings.

SHWEEET AS.

The Conquering of Swansea and Bristol is under way…

we headed back to cardiff, Glo Bar where we had a little night running.. TANTRUM SUNDAZE…

we got the brandy flowing… and the music pumped up… and peple came… we got smashed, and the basement Kicked off… we were all raving like it was 19fucking 92 in there Dicke had his jumper off w e were proper HAVIN IT.
…to the sweet banging sound s of ooosynthetic…

then two little chavs decied to start on the polish bouncer… after prodin him and teasing hm for almost an hour, tommy poked his tortoise like head into the equation to try and appease the situation…. but, was about as useful as , um, well, a tortoise in a boxing ring..

suddenly the bouncer snapped and obliterated the one kids head to pieces…it was HOrrific… i was shakin like a leaf.
his mate ran off.. but the bouncer caught him and give him a pasting tooo.

we were hammered by now. filthy gropin and humping every one and screaming”bumflaaaaaps” at every fucker through smashed crinkly face at a distance of 2mm and spittin his stinky breath all over their faces.

dickie dropped us off.
now i feel like absoulte fucking SHIT.

back to bed.

LATERS

Flapsandwich.
xx



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