Suck My Scrote!

So Gee come round and i was up to my bollocks in sorting stuff out for Tantrum etc.
WE headed down to Barfly and the posse slowly arrived.
First band got on, really quite enjoyed them,…i think they were Loci, dark, sweet, ruff, hard. loved it.
Then Mondays Headline offered their Stereophoncs wannabee drivvel, found it hard to like anything about them.
3rd up was Calansho screamin at us for 49 mins, bit like, um indie squawking for the industry… “please sign me and i’ll squawk to fit in and i’ll be your bitch” stylee.. not my thing… i think they could be good, mind you, if only they were more honest with themselves and stopped trying…..?? harsh?? im not trying to be, but its how i feel.

So the redstripe was handed out and the band started getting smashed. Doghouse, fresh back from Holland was on top form and sporting a 10″ Sicknotesuck PEG, a gift from Flakey as Fuck.

The Filth was tanked up and decided to let P&O jump on his back, he leapt out of the front door and started to spin as fast as he could – like a fucking Tazmanian Devil with P&O stuck to his back, with his greasy eel arms flailing behind him. As the filth stopped he fell into the corner of a wall, both of the retards WHACKED their head hard as fuck and were lying on the floor and sqeeling as Ohno Yoko arrived in disbelief at the state of us all.

The Filth got up and rubbed his head and held his hand out to show his fringe, laughing his cock off…The wind picked up and his fringe floated off down Castle street. P&O’s head was pissing with blood and i was in fucking tears.

We got on stage and smashed the fuck out of it… the place was buzzzing… and jumping , and we were on form and excited as Fuck to be back playing live….

Finishing with ‘Pikey DrumnBass’ the place went nuts…

As we left stage, a gaggle of slappers were asking for autographs.. and Russell thursted forwarded exposing a tit and handed Filthy a pen screaming “Filthy Filthy Will you sign me tit?”, He scrawled his name on Russell’s tit and we headed out for a fag.

The Red Stripe girls hoarded the band into a little pissy room to record an interview for the red stripe website… we were hammered.

They got the video camera out and we all squeezed on a sofa..
Asking us serious questions, they got a flurry of complete bollocks back! Influences? Bobby Davro, Mika, fuckign ridic,… Doghouse then decided to punch P&O in the lump he acquired earlier which then started pissing blood all down his face, the girls looked in shock.

After another 20 minutes off talking shit and claiming Sicknote to be the best band of the 21st century….

and the other girl got a camera out for a photo of the band asking Conker to get in the middle of us all… he pounced backwards onto us all, lifted his kilt and exposed his warty minging scrote to the camera, and the RedStripe girls looked like they were about to pass out!

Ive never laughed so much in my life…!

The door man said to Doghouse on the way out… “There’s 5 of you in the band, but your guestlist has had more than 10 in.”

To which Doghouse replied-

“We are not a band, we are a movement.”

12 Comments on “Suck My Scrote!”

  1. Anonymous says:

    That about sums up the debauchery nicely!!!Ha Ha… top night; now lets see if they have the balls to put us in the next round…Should be interesting!Doghouse X

  2. ohno yoko says:

    hahaha filthy’s fringe… classic : )long live the sicknote madnessxx

  3. Anonymous says:


  4. Anonymous says:

    i for one think there’s far too much of this hanky panky going on in public.keep it in the closet with me in anne ominous,xxx

  5. Anonymous says:

    everyone needs a bad influence. 😉Rev. P. Dreadx

  6. Flakey says:

    ….and so the sickness spreads …excellent

  7. Anonymous says:


  8. flapsandwich says:

    UPDATE!P&O was thrown out of the taxi on the way home… he stumbled to hospital; and he has 3 fractured ribs, mild concussion and a strained groin.HOLY Shit!!!! we hope he’ll be ok… speak soon. :O

  9. Chapman says:

    21st Century Rock n’Roll has been invented!

  10. Ady HD says:

    P&O…now known as P& OW!!!Wickedly messed up weekend all round….Nice one!

  11. Anonymous says:

    No one will ever look at the Barfly again after reading this. It’s like taking misbehaved school kids to the zoo, REALLY!

  12. flapsandwich says:

    fucking mental night.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s