Suck My Scrote!Posted: January 17, 2009
So Gee come round and i was up to my bollocks in sorting stuff out for Tantrum etc.
WE headed down to Barfly and the posse slowly arrived.
First band got on, really quite enjoyed them,…i think they were Loci, dark, sweet, ruff, hard. loved it.
Then Mondays Headline offered their Stereophoncs wannabee drivvel, found it hard to like anything about them.
3rd up was Calansho screamin at us for 49 mins, bit like, um indie squawking for the industry… “please sign me and i’ll squawk to fit in and i’ll be your bitch” stylee.. not my thing… i think they could be good, mind you, if only they were more honest with themselves and stopped trying…..?? harsh?? im not trying to be, but its how i feel.
So the redstripe was handed out and the band started getting smashed. Doghouse, fresh back from Holland was on top form and sporting a 10″ Sicknotesuck PEG, a gift from Flakey as Fuck.
The Filth was tanked up and decided to let P&O jump on his back, he leapt out of the front door and started to spin as fast as he could – like a fucking Tazmanian Devil with P&O stuck to his back, with his greasy eel arms flailing behind him. As the filth stopped he fell into the corner of a wall, both of the retards WHACKED their head hard as fuck and were lying on the floor and sqeeling as Ohno Yoko arrived in disbelief at the state of us all.
The Filth got up and rubbed his head and held his hand out to show his fringe, laughing his cock off…The wind picked up and his fringe floated off down Castle street. P&O’s head was pissing with blood and i was in fucking tears.
We got on stage and smashed the fuck out of it… the place was buzzzing… and jumping , and we were on form and excited as Fuck to be back playing live….
Finishing with ‘Pikey DrumnBass’ the place went nuts…
As we left stage, a gaggle of slappers were asking for autographs.. and Russell thursted forwarded exposing a tit and handed Filthy a pen screaming “Filthy Filthy Will you sign me tit?”, He scrawled his name on Russell’s tit and we headed out for a fag.
The Red Stripe girls hoarded the band into a little pissy room to record an interview for the red stripe website… we were hammered.
They got the video camera out and we all squeezed on a sofa..
Asking us serious questions, they got a flurry of complete bollocks back! Influences? Bobby Davro, Mika, fuckign ridic,… Doghouse then decided to punch P&O in the lump he acquired earlier which then started pissing blood all down his face, the girls looked in shock.
After another 20 minutes off talking shit and claiming Sicknote to be the best band of the 21st century….
and the other girl got a camera out for a photo of the band asking Conker to get in the middle of us all… he pounced backwards onto us all, lifted his kilt and exposed his warty minging scrote to the camera, and the RedStripe girls looked like they were about to pass out!
Ive never laughed so much in my life…!
The door man said to Doghouse on the way out… “There’s 5 of you in the band, but your guestlist has had more than 10 in.”
To which Doghouse replied-
“We are not a band, we are a movement.”